Front of the Roller Coaster

So today was a roller coaster. And I mean the one where you have to stuff your shoes with socks for if you aren’t of age. So the down aspect was probably the portion of my day where I was forcing myself to count and add digits that just DO NOT work in my mind. This ADHD/OCD/Dyslexic child is in NO way shape or form exceptional at an overwhelmingly and exceedingly confusing graph-like/math oriented chart. Well…. I found this out the hard way…after I was called in to work and tried but did not succeed. Not going to lie, it got pretty frustrating after a while and pretty apparent that it just wasn’t really working out, so I went home. So if my leadership professor is correct, with all the “self-skills” testing she has implemented in the class, I am classified as an ACHIEVER. This means I deal with a bit of self-loathing when I can’t/haven’t done something. Guilty. There are great positives to this trait but unfortunately, negatives as well. Such is life. Anyways, I state this because after my world shattered, a tsunami rolled over me with waves of emotion and subconscious reaction. UGH it was dramatic and probably a little unnecessary but I mean it happened and it had to happen for me to wake up. So unfortunately, it took a while to rekindle the pieces of my once known life through what felt like a dreadful set up off of Match.com. My consciousness finally submerged, only at the bottom of an M&M family sized fun bag. Well that was unexpected.

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!

I ask myself, as I notice I am further watching School of Rock, which mind you is a phenomenal movie. Praise you Jack Black, you truly are a genius. Oh AND I had a half pealed orange in my other hand. So with that being said…. Often times when you find yourself double fisting M&M’s and oranges on your couch watching School of Rock… You ask yourself:

How does one life?

I say this because, well, life just kind of goes… and well don’t verbs do too?  So anyway, from there, I came to the conclusion that one can’t fit a square peg in to a round surface. It. just .won’t .work. So instead I need to figure out more effective ways in which I can execute and deal with numbers. SO BIGGER lesson learned, Self love is good love.   In no way is this related, but it does remind me of the SNL skit with. “Sex can wait, masterbate” and on that ADHD note, goodnight!

With Bacon,

Maddie

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